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[quote=Anonymous]I've been through half a dozen au pairs and nannies for my 18-month-old twins (they lasted anywhere from 2 days to 3 months). Each time (except for the ones we fired after a day or two because they were completely irresponsible), they have started strong, then progressively slacked off, started lying, and generally did a poor job. I thought my latest nanny was great (has been with us for 2 months, former Montessori teacher and 2 years nanny experience), but there have been some bad signs lately. I'm not sure if I can trust her anymore.

I asked her to brush their teeth after she feeds them dinner, and she said she was doing that-- but then when I mentioned that one twin has molars already and the other one doesn't, she was surprised and didn't seem to know that! And the toothbrushes were never wet, except when I brushed their teeth. So she clearly isn't brushing their teeth, and she's lying to me about it.

She helped me take them to a doctor's appointment the other day, and as we were loading them into the car after the appointment, she looked at the (very heavy) double stroller and said, "I don't know how to fold that stroller, you can do it." AND THEN GOT IN THE CAR, while I folded and lifted the heavy stroller myself. She is in her 20s and apparently healthy. I am in my 40s with a couple of minor disabilities, and one of the reasons I hired her is so she could lift the damn stroller! She usually uses a lighter umbrella stroller and not the heavy one that stays in my car, but I think she should be able to handle any stroller we use.

She has never once cleaned their high chair trays. If I don't clean them, she will put food directly on a dirty tray and let them eat it. She is generally careless with my possessions (e.g., left the babies' humidifier running with the cap off, causing condensation and water damage to an expensive piece of furniture, because she was too lazy to retrieve the cap of the humidifier from under the couch). Is this just how it's going to be with any in-home childcare? Is it too much to expect that she will learn to fold all the strollers and dig toys and other things out from under the couch? Should I just live with the fact that she lets my kids eat off a dirty tray because she's too lazy to clean them? I feel like those are all basic nanny tasks-- and yet, it seems really difficult to find anyone who can sustain the effort they initially put into the job for the first week or two.

For the nanny trolls who will tell me to pay more if I want better childcare: she is making more than she did as a full-time Montessori teacher, and I pay her the same amount it would cost to put both of my kids in the Kindercare down the street. So paying more is not an option, when I could do daycare for the same price. And she certainly isn't complaining about the salary (though she has repeatedly asked to be paid early, which is annoying when she's slacking off).[/quote]

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