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[quote=Anonymous]First time MB here. My son is 6 months old and his nanny has been with us for 2 months. She is a professional nanny - someone who has a lot of experience and has three kids of her own. Very smart and trustworthy. She hasn’t done any one thing wrong, but there are a few things that make me wonder if she is a good fit for us.

My main issue with her is that I don’t think she speaks to or plays with my son enough. We have a nanny cam and she knows about it. During playtime, she is interacting with him about 25% of the time, laying beside him and just watching him 50% of the time, and on her phone 25% of the time. Our contract said no phone usage outside of naps. When I hint that I would like her to do certain things, like read to him or make a sensory bin or whatever, she doesn’t say no but she acts like an experienced mom who thinks that spending time reading to babies, showing them colors, etc. is a waste. Kind of a wry smile and inward eye roll.

By way of background, there was an issue where I told the nanny agency my top dollar rate - the rate I would pay for a stellar candidate. The agency then went and told all of the candidates that I was offering that rate, and told me that this particular nanny wouldn’t like it if I tried to give her a lower rate, even though my rate was higher than what she had made before for multiple kids. So I have ended up paying her a top-of-the-market rate, and feel like I could have gotten a better nanny for that rate if I had slowed down and not given in to pressure from the agency to hire her before another family did.

My question is, am I being unreasonable to expect her to interact with the baby, say, 75% of the 3 or so hours that he is awake and they are not out walking or at play dates that the nanny has set up? Identify colors, sing songs, narrate, etc.? Or will I be hard pressed to find any nanny who will stay off of her phone and focus on developmental activities for 1-2 hours at a time?

I know the answer here is to just talk to her about my concerns. But she has kind of a big ego and always says how happy her prior families have been with her. I am afraid that if I say anything to her, she would resent me and would take it out on my son in some way. What do you guys think of this - if you think my concerns are valid, should I speak to her, or just make up an excuse about why we don’t need a nanny anymore, let her go, and give her a good reference? Will she maybe get better with time, as my son gets older and more interactive? I like her personally but I also want to get the best nanny that I can for my son. Thanks in advance.[/quote]

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