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[quote=Anonymous]OP- a few thoughts.  
1) If you found this board and are asking these questions, you are on the right track.  I think AP/HF relationships are complicated and doing your research is smart.
2) I kind of wonder what the history was with the nanny /privacy stuff, sounds like you might have some baggage that you should try to figure out so it doesnt taint your AP experience.
3) Agree with PP re: "Sweet" au pairs.  This is not a quality I care about, in fact I look for someone more of a self starter so I dont have to be her mom.  We are all looking for something different, though, so maybe this will work for you.
4) One thing you might do before you hit "match" is send her your handbook and ask give her the chance to really understand what the gig is going to be like, maybe ask her some tough questions -- it will ease your mind.
5) I LOVE the AP program, I'm in year 4 having had both APs extend and am very happy.  It works bc the personalities of the APs have really worked for our family and bc we all (HPs and AP) give each other plenty of space -- this allows us to enjoy each others company when we get the chance rather than feel like its an obligation.

GOOD LUCK!  [/quote]

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