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[quote=Anonymous]I agree with 06/13/2017 14:04, especially on #2.

When we are out with the kids I know I have an eye on them (DH and AP might as well but I KNOW I do) and if I leave them to get food or go to the bathroom I will even tell DH to please keep an eye on them while I am gone. Just to make sure that somebody is actually watching them. I will never assume that somebody else (DH, AP, my mom) notices me leaving, realizes I am not taking the kids and watches them while I am gone. That's how accidents happen and kids drown in backyard pools. Because A thought B would watch them and B thought A was watching them or didn't even realize A was gone.
If she has 8 months left AND is a rematch (assuming she is in her first year) she can't have been with you for more than a couple of months? Communicate. More clearly. Tell her what you want/need done. Your previous APs might have spoiled you by "knowing" what to do. She doesn't. Tell her.

I don't quite understand the situation in your first issue but that might be us. I understand working from home and "not being there" (because while you might be physically present you simply don't have time to watch your kids or play with them) but why would you "not be there" for an end-of-preschool picnic? I assume your DW went to be there to celebrate, allowing the AP to be 'in charge' because she is working is one thing (backing up your AP in front of the kids is important for them to learn to listen to her) but being so hands off that you won't even help your kids get food seems a bit odd to me. If we are around and not working, even if the AP is in charge, we figure we are still the parents. They are still our responsibility. We will still help them get food or take them to the bathroom. We will ask AP to go to the bathroom with the kids (because she is working), we expect her to run around with them (more than fat old mommy), bonus points for going down slides or climbing trees, if she says no we will back her up (and that includes you misbehave, no ice cream) even if we might not 100% agree with her.

For special situations - birthday parties, picnics etc. - we have decided to base our work on communication. We will never expect or assume another person (AP, grandparent, parent, aunt, teacher) to do anything. If we want somebody to do something, even if we think it's the only sensible thing to do or action to take, we say it.
"DH, can you get the kids something to drink" or "Mom, can you watch Larla while I run to the bathroom" or "AP can you could you get Larlo a piece of cake while I change Larla's diaper" takes all but 30 seconds to say and helps so much to make things run more smoothly.

Let the pants go. Yes, long track pants are unfomfortable in 92 degree weather but soccer at noon in 92 degree weather would have been just as uncomfortable in shorts. Especially in fancy dress shorts which are likely buttoned up and not overly comfortable for soccer. Get them a couple of pairs of suitable short soccer shorts, put them where the long track pants are and all is well. With our oldest I am sure they would have whined about that soccer practice no matter what (heck, I would have whined about being stuck at practice for ever in weather like that).

But DO get her out of the house. If she doesn't get social cues tell her. If you can't tell her then and there (as when DW left for her business trip) you tell her later. "AP4, when I left, the kids were very upset. It would have been great if you could have comforted them instead of making small talk with me. The kids are your top priority. We can chat about time zones afterwards or you can ask DW later." But if you need a moment alone there is nothing wrong with saying "AP4, we love having you around, be we need to discuss something in private." (Also, same as with young kids, locked bathroom doors are sometimes the only thing that helps)

If your previous APs had a close friend in the area, tell them to call that friend and tell them to call your AP, pick them up, take them places etc. Some APs need to be forced to get to know people. Or ask your LCC if there is somebody in the cluster who is good about inviting new APs out for coffee, tell your LCC to make that one call, set up a date for a fun outing, make your AP get out of the house.

I am sure as soon as you get more private time you will stop being upset about long track pants for soccer practice.[/quote]

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