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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't understand your first two examples - sounds like a parent was with the kids too - if you want her to do something when a parent is there, then I think you need to say so - it's probably confusing. Maybe other APs were better at reading cues but this one needs more help. Just tell her.

I agree it's annoying she put the kid in pants - seems wrong to me. Not really a safety issue though - I mean the kid isn't really going to overheat due to pants versus shorts.  Assuming appropriate water bottle, etc.

But, I would be pissed she didn't listen to the kid and also that she didn't use common sense, which is even nice shorts would be better than long pants.  I would tell her that at your meeting.  Also, tell her if she isn't sure, defer to the kid or text you. Maybe she just needs more guidance.  I wouldn't fire her over this - I would tell her you need her to be more aware.

Same with the issue of her hanging around - just tell her when you want family time or whatever. I tell my AP when I need her to leave the kitchen (i'm helping my son study for a test and she is making noise and bothering us), for example. [/quote]

OP here. Thanks for the advice. Just wanted to clarify the first two examples. For the school picnic, AP 4 was on duty, and we've made it clear that when she's on duty, it should be like we're gone. We work from home sometimes and the kids can act out if they think they we're home and that they don't need to listen to her. For the family party, she wasn't on duty, but we had the expectation that as someone living with us and accompanying us as a friend/family member that she would do the minimum that a normal person living with a family would do. If I took a random college buddy to a party like that and asked him/her to watch my kid while I went to get food, I'd be pretty disappointed if they failed to do even that. That is not too much to expect from a normal human relationship, is it?[/quote]

I think you are sending a mixed message then.  If you are there, but AP is on duty, then you are essentially not there according to your rules.  If you are there, and AP is off duty, then she should be essentially not there as well.  I would keep it consistent, and would never expect an off duty AP to be keeping an eye out for your children, without very explicitly explaining circumstance as to why you are asking her to work on her off duty time, and making sure she is in agreement of the responsibility, if there is any safety issue whatsoever. Assumptions are very dangerous when it comes to kids. Even with grandparents I would say, "I am leaving to go to bathroom, please make sure they don't fall in the pool"[/quote]

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