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[quote=Anonymous]As a nanny, I am very cognizant of the fact that the mother has the supreme right to handle situations with her child in whatever way she sees fit and I do respect that.  My charge is not my child and I am hired to do the parent's wishes.  However, it is difficult when you see a parent handling a situation that is making life harder on their own child.

I have one MB who talks at her child all day long.  Now that he is a bit over two, when he has a tantrum she talks at him while he is screaming and, more often than not, gives him part or all of what he is tantruming about.  Hence, he cries and tantrums more than I have ever seen a child do before.  Kids throw tantrums because they work.  You cannot say not to my charge about anything without getting a huge meltdown which I know cannot be pleasant for my charge.

When I am alone with my charge, he is adorable, happy and so well behaved.  He still hates to hear no (and I actually say the word "no" which his mother doesn't) but gets over it in a matter of seconds.  I tell him that I understand he wanted _____ and explain once or twice why I cannot give it to him and then tell him it is okay to be upset about it but that that I am not going to change my mind.  This works so well with him - he's a smart little guy and he knows it is futile to continue.

The mother doesn't work so it is a particularly difficult for me because she is always around.  While she is a lovely person generally, she is not open to my suggestions on how to handle her child's many, many meltdowns and tantrums.

It is just hard...  [/quote]

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