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[quote=Anonymous]Wow, OP, I can see why you're so worn out and frustrated. I'm two years into a job that started out pretty rough too. (Though not as bad as you're describing, and both parents live at home though the dad works very long hours and doesn't see the kids 4 days a week plus every fifth weekend.) Anyway, there were definitely days I felt like I was drowning.

The kids were 9 mo old twins and a 2.5 yr old when I started. The older kid screams really high pitched ear piercing screams when she doesn't get her way. Now, both girls do, but I shut it down by putting warning them and then sending them to their room. I have zero tolerance for screeching or squealing noises. They're almost 3 and 5 now and all three are pretty defiant....you say blue, they say red, you say stop and they scatter like rats, they hit each other, get out of time out to kick the other etc. There are days when we just exist.

But...they're getting older, and somewhat better at listening. We can actually go on outings w/o a stroller or backpack leash sometimes. I think one of the biggest ways you can help yourself and the older child is consistency. Consistent time out for hitting or screaming. Put her in her room and walk away if you need to. Don't give tantrums an audience. Get up and leave the room. When she cooperates praise the heck out of it. Do what you can to wear her out...run up and down the sidewalk, park, walk to the park and home again, whatever you can. Sometimes kids are assholes because they're not eating right or getting enough sleep. Make sure she sleeps enough.

For the baby screaming when you put him down, try a bjorn so you're at least hands free. When he gets a tad older, sleep train. Put him in his crib and walk away. Most likely he'll stop crying before long. if you need to deal with the toddler and can't while holding baby, put him in his crib and walk away, even now. Nothing bad will happen because you put him down to deal with his sister even if dealing w/ her is just giving her some extra snuggles or attention. She's going through a lot...new baby that takes away most of her attention, parents gone most of the time w/ mom gone all the time etc. That's rough on anyone, but imaging being a tiny little toddler with no life experience or understanding that life changed but will change back eventually and then it might be easier to understand and empathize with her behavior.

See if you can give it a little more time. I know you're exhausted. BTDT. I know you're frustrated. BTDT too. But if you can help this child you'll be giving both of you a gift...her the gift of love and consistency, something that will impact relationships with others for the rest of her life, and you because you will know you stuck with something that was hard and learned how to face a challenge and overcome it.

Did you become a nanny to collect a paycheck because you thought it would be easy money, or did you become a nanny to make a difference in the life of a child? Now is the time to decide.[/quote]

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