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[quote=Anonymous]I think my email was a little misunderstood.  Just to clarify, I'm fine with her eating all of her meals at home.  We don't want her to watch us eat and we're fine inviting her to join us but it's odd that she doesn't help at all unless I give her small tasks.  She sees how tired my husband and I are while she sits on her phone texting while we are cleaning up.  When we ask her specifically, she will do it but it does not register.  We are not making it an issue (although it annoys me) and we do make a lot of food and it was enough for our last au pair when she wanted to join us.  She's not a star au pair but she's okay.  She loves my kids which is the most important thing and they are safe with her.  When she sits at the table and I ask my daughter and her to get something, she will.  And whenever I serve the kids, I say that she's free to take her own portion.  And she always waits for me to serve her too.  She does help out at her home in her home country b/c I've asked her.  She doesn't help out at all with our meals.  She can't seem to ever take out the trash or recycling.  She just leaves everything on the counter for us even though we've showed her many times.  She's not a child.  She's a grown-up in the house.    [/quote]

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