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[quote=Anonymous]Ok, so given your situation OP here's how I'd phrase it:

"Thank you so much.  I would be very interested in working with you.  I have enough experience that I can tell when I'm talking with parents for whom I think I might be a good fit.  So I'm interested in the position but there may be an unbridgeable gap between your offer and my current rates.  I am currently paid $20 an hour for one child.  So I know that the cost of living difference from my current location and North Carolina is significant, but I can't see a way to live on $11/hr.  "

Then you see what she says.  Seriously - allow some silence, it's hard but it is extremely effective.

Next you could say something like "One option might be to build a nanny share if you know another family that is looking for a caregiver.  Hourly rates for each family can be more affordable that way - definitely in the range you're offering, and the combined pay then would be very attractive."

And pause.

I'm sorry OP - it's so hard to do this when you are feeling desperate, but it's worth a shot.

I would not offer the $15/hr number because her next response will be $13.  Don't cut your rate by 25% right off the bat, don't give a number.  Just give her your actual facts, and the sincere impression that you really like her and the opportunity but you just can't see how you can take a job at half your current pay.  You could say something like "I was prepared to take a 10-15% pay cut given the correlating lower cost of living, but halving my income is an entirely different calculation.

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