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[quote=Anonymous]MB here.

Unless you  have multiple, glowing, spectacular, recent references counterbalancing the obvious red flags I would walk away from both candidates.

The hassle of a search taking longer than you'd hoped is nothing compared to the nightmare of realizing you've hired someone you shouldn't.

I would perhaps consider Nanny #2 further if I felt assured that she was being candid about the circumstances around her most recent job.  But only if everything else in her background was transparent and fantastic, and only if I thought she was a remarkable find.  And I'd have a long probationary period of employment.

I fired one nanny, who had been with us for three years.  I could give her a glowing reference for babies, but not for toddlers.  I could give her a glowing reference for someone who wanted a live-in, but not for a family for whom the nanny would have to be a reliable driver.  I could give her a glowing reference for a family that spoke spanish, but not for a family where the nanny would have to interact with people like teacher, doctors, etc...

I would never say to ask the nanny directly why she was let go unless there was something truly egregious that I knew would condemn her candidacy and i couldn't quite live with doing that so directly.  (Or I know enough employment law to not want to get myself into a position where I could potentially be sued.)  But if those words came out of my mouth it would be a sign of an absolutely unforgivable occurrence or lapse of some kind.

I have heard of NDAs, but only with big celebrity or political families.  And those kinds of jobs tend to be agency driven or hired by word of mouth - so there are other ways to get references.    I would be very wary.

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