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[quote=Anonymous]The "nanny as family" approach works until it doesn't. The best way to make sure you don't have to have a series of uncomfortable conversation is to choose well and have a detailed work agreement in place.

If you have nearly unlimited funds and access to easy backup care, that smooths the path, too, since your stress level needn't go up when something unexpected happens, and you can afford to make things easy on your nanny.

But most of us have, at one time or another, had something (or a series of things) that had to be addressed before we got to the "OMG I have to fire her before I spend another minute in her presence stage."

I have had four full time nannies, two part-time nannies, and three part time housekeepers over the past 7 years (much overlap here). Of those, three were so fabulous and such a good fit for us that I felt blessed to have them and never had a critical word to say. The others ranged from 1 or two quick course corrections over a couple of years to several in-depth conversation about how we could adjust to make the relationship work, to one that I had to let go.

After all of this, even the ones I love are employees in the sense that I am not going to let something that really bothers me go without comment. [/quote]

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