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[quote=Anonymous]In general, I am not a great manager. I have a lot of trouble giving negative feedback. I have been like this forever, it's not specific to nannies, and I am trying to work on it.

That said-

My husband and I inherently disagree on the kind of negative feedback to give to caregivers for our children. I am of the mindset that if we notice things happening that are relatively serious, we should just let the person go. I am afraid that if we give them stern feedback, they will be unhappy and take it out on our kids.

Note that I'm not talking about minor things - like oh you let the kids watch too much tv or oh you gave an extra oreo. I just let those things go.

Today we had a regular babysitter do a bunch of things that we were not happy about. We have visible cameras up but we do not regularly watch them. Today, I decided to watch because my older child expressed unhappiness about having the babysitter come. She basically could not have been more inattentive to the kids. At one point texting on her phone for 45 minutes, literally not even looking up. At another point she left our infant alone (probably in a safe place, but still) to go outside to get a magazine to read from her car. There were also a ton of personal phone calls while on the job.

My husband thinks we should sit down with her to explain that this is not appropriate behavior. I think we should just stop using her, even though we have a bunch of dates already lined up for the future and it would cause us a lot of inconvenience to have to find someone new.

My thought process- we have cameras all over the place. She knows that. She is also not stupid and she knows she shouldn't have been doing what she did. What's the point in trying to get someone to change that behavior? I really do think that all we will accomplish is to get them upset, or angry, which is not going to make her a better babysitter.

Thoughts?[/quote]

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