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[quote=Anonymous]My 20 month old is going through a biting stage.  It's awful, embarrassing, and it has become a major issue- particularly for the other mother.

It happened several times in 1 week about a month ago and a big issue ensued.  Our nanny immediately told me and the other mother about it and sent us pictures of the bite.  I went over what she did, what was going on, and what we need to do from here on out.  The first time it happened, I immediately bought the book, "Teeth are not for biting" and we talked about appropriate techniques for redirection, and what phrases to use "You may not bite. Biting hurts." and trying to talk with him about using his words and taking turns but let's be honest...he was 19 months so he didn't really get it!

I apologized to the other Mom and told her what we are doing to address it and told her that it is developmentally normal and we are going to work on it using all the tools available.  The other Mom told me that her child never bit before my child came around and her child has been around many, many different kids (never for 10 hours a day, 5 days a week though).  She became upset and I asked if she felt like there was more I could do and if so, to please let me know as I am a first time mom and I'm learning.  She did not respond.

There have been maybe 2 more incidents since that one including one early this morning.  The last incident before this, my son bit her daughter who is 2 months younger and while the nanny was tending to the little girl, the 3.5 year old bit my child on the arm and left a big bruise.  After apologizing each time to the other Mom, and her demanding to know what we were doing....she didn't apologize at all to me or say what she would be doing to address it with her child who is more than twice my child's age.

The kids are temporarily all at my home and my child is learning about taking turns (he's never had to do this as he has no siblings, no cousins, and we don't have a lot of time to have other friends over).  He also has been sleeping badly due to cutting 4 teeth at once.

The biting seems to happen when 1) My child is teething or is sick and not feeling great and 2) When another child takes his toy.

I feel like I am doing everything in my power to handle this situation appropriately and I've been communicating with the nanny that we need to be on the same page and just going over it and making sure we are all aware that it is being addressed and there is a plan but I get the impression that the other mom wants MORE to be done and she expects that her child will NEVER EVER be bitten again.  That's not a guarantee anyone can make with any child, especially under 3!

Any suggestions on what I could do differently?  I feel like I'm stressing way more about this than I should and I do not want to put pressure on my child to be perfect because he's a toddler with big emotions and limited communication skills. [/quote]

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