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Au Pair Discussion
Reply to "Is lying a compatibility concern?"
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[quote=Anonymous]Let's just say, our first experience with an Au Pair is not one they put in the brochure. AP arrives, we go through the awkward/awful transition period. I learn a lot, mostly about lowering expectations. We got into this because we needed the schedule flexibility and wanted someone who would truly love and interact with our kids. What we got feels like a web of lies and manipulations. 1. She completely lied about her prior childcare experience. Having reviewed this forum and other blogs, that seems par for the course. Hers does seem to go a bit farther, we truly believe she doesn't like kids. The program was a way for her to party and shop. 2. We thought she was just shy or reserved. We actually wanted someone like that because it matches our personalities well and we didn't want a party girl. Well, she's shy and reserved around us, but not with her friends. She was out every weekend, until late, 4 am late, and wanted nothing to do with us or our kids outside of scheduled hours. I'm not talking about expecting to eek more hours out of her, I'm saying she would come up when she smelled food, eat without saying a word, put her plate in the sink, and return downstairs... for weeks! 3. She wanted a friend over for Christmas weekend, so she made up some tale about her host family not being around, all so they could party in DC with a cheaper Uber ride. 4. This is the real kicker, she stole our car. Yes, there is the nicer way to put it... she "used our car, without our permission, and without a license (hence no permission) so she could visit a friend" and stay over there while we were out of town. She still continues to lie about this. This is what led us to initiate breaking the match, but when she still couldn't tell the truth during the mediation, the AD called her out on her lies and broke the match. So, we go thru rematch and see her profile listed, they decided to give her a second chance so we have to foot the bill for housing her for 2 weeks and bring in alternate childcare. The reason for availability is "compatability concerns". Is there anyone who isn't concerned about the person in charge of caring for their kids being a liar? Is there anyone compatible with lying? Now, don't get me wrong, there were issues apart from the lies. She did no "child chores" without repeated prompting/reminding. She didn't speak with us outside of working hours, the kids don't like her, she's lazy.... But we didn't want to break the match for these, we did so because she lied! I'm just really concerned now about the agency. Do they just want to save a buck since she's here and all trained up? Do they want to have better retention records? Can we trust that any future APs will be any better? And where in the scheme of things do the children subjected to this situation fit? Our kids did nothing wrong, but they are having to live with all this stress and tension in our home. What are your thoughts on switching agencies? Are there any that are more reliable?[/quote]
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