Reply to How to be a good WFHM? Nanny feedback requested

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[quote=Anonymous]Nanny here.  I have only had one job in my decade of nannying that DIDN'T have a WAH parent.  You have the basic concept right.  It is definitely all about communication.  The big thing to bear in mind is that a) you may sometimes be to sensitive to hear nanny tell you to go away (transitioning back to work can be emotional for lots of moms especially), and b) nanny may not always be comfortable telling her boss what to do.  For those reasons you need to take more of a backseat than you otherwise would.  Rather than say, "I'm going to come down X times per day at these times to breasfeed and at Y times to do A, B and C.  Let me know if that's a problem," you need to approach it in a more collaborative way.  "I usually take 2 15 minute breaks and 30 minute lunch break.  I'd also like to breast feed as much as possible.  What do you think is the best way to manage that without disrupting baby's schedule?"  Let her tell you what works best.  Maybe she'd prefer you take your lunch during naptime so as to avoid disrupting baby, but maybe she'd rather enjoy the quiet during naptime and manage the disruption of a visit during awake time.

Also, schedule sit-downs with nanny, either during a nap or when someone else can watch baby every 3 months (and stick to it!) in order to talk about what is and isn't working.  As your child grows, your arrangement will need to be tweaked.  As an example, when the twins I cared for with one family reached the separation-anxiety stage, it became massively upsetting whenever their dad left.  He and I talked it over and agreed that he would only come say hello if he had at least 15 minutes to playand visit.  If he didn't, he would walk by with no eye contact or acknowledgement (I told the kids "Daddy is working.  See his work face?") and they didn't cry for him because they quickly learned there was no point.  We didn't need a time limit before that stage and they soon outgrew it, but my life would have been very difficult if I had had to quell tandem meltdowns every time DB had to pee for a six month stretch.[/quote]

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