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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We are looking to replace our existing nanny and found someone, N, we really liked at the interview, she seemed very warm and loving.  The first day of her trial period was yesterday.  We haven't really been able to observe N with our 20 month old DC as DC wants to be just with us when we are around.  But even if that weren't the case, I know nannies can act completely differently when they know the parents are there, or at the home (where there are cameras) versus outside.  How can you tell if the nanny is truly caring and engaging or just putting on an act for the parents?  N just moved to the U.S. a little over a year ago so her references are very light.  She was nanny to her friend's kids for about a year so I take this reference with a little grain of salt because of course a person is going to be nicer to her friend's kids than a complete stranger's.  Her next job lasted only a few months as the NF unexpectedly moved when the DB got transferred at work.

Whoever our next nanny will be, we want to feel confident she is the right person.  We are not looking for the "perfect nanny" ideal, which does not exist.  We have had enough caregivers (existing nanny, date night sitters, mother's helpers when I was on mat leave) to know that everyone has their strengths and weaknesses.  Our priority is someone who will be loving and actively engage our child to support her development.  We don't care if she's a terrible cook, comes a little late and doesn't always do all the baby-related chores.  But the things I just mentioned are all pretty evident, whereas how the nanny is with a child when parents are not there is not at all.  Would really appreciate some advice on this.[/quote]

Actually, I think items such as not being late, do the minimum expectations regarding chores, etc. are important.  It's not that hard to be on time.  Or to do the minimum.  If a nanny isn't willing to do that, then that's insight into how she is as a caregiver.  Being a terrible cook is irrelevant and doesn't belong in the same list as the other items.   If I come home and my nanny says, "sorry the place is a wreck, but Larla wasn't feeling well and wanted me to hold her all day" that's the response of a good nanny.  Just like with any job, I think a nanny should want to be considered good at her job.  [/quote]

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