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[quote=Anonymous]First AP joined us 2 weeks ago and I am trying to figure out how to handle Thanksgiving. My 2 kids and I typically go to my mom's house for the holiday weekend (about 2 hours away).  The holiday is very low key, we just do the turkey dinner, but not much else. My mom is older and not very active so we just kind of hang out all weekend, lots of tv time (sigh).  My kids and I all cram into the one tiny spare bedroom there, me in a full size bed and kids in twin bunk beds. There are no extra bedrooms - super small ranch house, 1 bathroom, and generally everyone is on top of each other.

While I would love for AP to experience an American Thanksgiving dinner, if she does, I will either need all of us to stay in a hotel (and then she needs her own room, correct?) or I will have to get a hotel room just for her.  In either scenario, she will not have her own car, so she will either sit and hang out with my mother and brother and kids while we all watch tv or hang out at the hotel (in which case she will probably feel stranded, as it is a rural-ish area with nothing walkable from the hotel).

Should I just explain all this to AP and let her choose whether she wants to come?  I don't want her to her to feel obligated to come but I also don't want her to feel like we are leaving her out.  We just have a small family and don't do big things for the holidays.

FWIW AP's actions so far indicate that she is independent and isn't really looking for a warm and fuzzy family experience... She has spent all of her free time with her new friends and none of it (even weekend meals) with my kids and I (she even declined coming pumpkin picking with us this past weekend, which we had spoken about doing together even before she arrived, to do something w/her friends).

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