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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would be weary too. If she has a close relationship with her parents - and they don't agree. She could get convinced to come home early. Our first au pair left after 3 months because she was homesick, and her parents told her just to come home. We literally got 2 days notice - because they booked her on the next available flight - which I'm guessing was not cheap![/quote]

Yes, in an AP with a close relationship with her parents, I'd be weary too.
But not every AP is amazingly close to their parents. When I became an AP at 19, the relationship with my mom was strained (and that is putting it mild) and she didn't even know I had applied to the program. She knew I wanted to take a gap year after school and had looked at a couple of options (Action Reconciliation Service for Peace, Up with people, Voluntary social year) but she didn't know I applied to be an AP or had the interview. I didn't tell my father (my parents are divorced) until I had matched with a HF.

But even if the AP's parents are supportive or the AP says they are supportive doesn't mean the won't splash out for a next day ticked if their little princess is unhappy where she is.
I met a girl at my departure airport who had obviously grown up very sheltered. She was back home after a month, courtesy of mommy and daddy paying for her plane ticket, because she was unhappy (bad match) and homesick. Mom couldn't wait to have her little girl back. My mother would have told me to shove it and remember that I made a commitment. Both my mother and my father ended up being supportive of my decision. Morally and emotionally at least.

[quote][quote]Our current au pair's family supports her being an au pair - even though they completely miss her. but when she has ever felt down - like when her grandmother died - they encourage her to stick it out, and keep her commitment to our family. which i'm totally grateful for because it could have gone the opposite direction.[/quote]

Why not support her in going to the funeral?[/quote]

My grandma unexpectedly died four months into my year. My mother would have supported my flying home for the funeral as would my HF have. Still didn't do it. 
She was dead. There was nothing I could have done. Now if I could have flown home to say good bye that might have been different but as it was? I grieved and learned that adulting means you can grieve and work and keep a commitment you made.

[quote]the thing we're struggling with now in matching with our next au pair - is the question of boyfriends. Anyone have any thoughts on that? I'm inclined not to match with a girl who has a boyfriend - because being an au pair is complicated enough with the added pressure of a boyfriend back home. [/quote]

I didn't have a boyfriend when I matched but did have a boyfriend on departure (we met a month before I left). I never thought about leaving for or because of him. We eventually broke up in college because the distance (three hours) proved to much long term. Five years later I became an AP again (not US, I studied languages and au pairing in the country of my target language was the cheapest option) and again, I would never have considered breaking the commitment I made to the family because of the boyfriend I had then. It really depends on the AP and her personality. And with some families matching earlier and earlier, it doesn't mean that the applicant you pick doesn't find a significant other in the ten or six or three months until her departure. Then what? Would you break the match if the AP told you she had found herself a boyfriend? Would you prefer an applicant to lie about having a boyfriend?

On the other hand, if your AP is in a commited relationship in her home country, you won't have to worry about her finding a boyfriend in the US, spending more time with him than you(r children), getting pregnant, running off to get married, dating to find a guy to marry for a GC... or even if she has a boyfriend when you match, who says they will still be dating when she leaves? Things can happen, especially at 18/19/20 (and still at 23 or 26 or even 63 as I am just learning from a coworker). Maybe the supportive boyfriend suddenly isn't so supportive any more after his girlfriend has matched with a HF and it all becomes 'real'. Maybe the relationship she is in is less stable than it should be and becoming an AP is her way to walk away from it.

Same as with supportive parents. You won't know until it's too late.[/quote]

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