Reply to Nonproactive nanny who won't schedule playdates

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It sounds like she's best with infants, who don't go out and socialize.

What does she say when you talk to her about this?

I don't think her approach is "wrong," but it's not what you want. It may be that you are not a good match anymore. 6 months is a long time to work on something that doesn't seem to be changing.[/quote]

When I ask her to do something I've asked before, she just says okay, acts normal as though it's the first time I'm asking her.  If I mention that this is the 2nd (or 3rd) time I'm asking, she'll look sorry, repeat she'll do it and that's it, no apology or explanation.  Maybe 3 times, I have had a talk with her, saying it is not acceptable that this keep happening and asking for an explanation.  Those times, she gets upset-looking and quiet, gives a quick okay then goes back to the dishes or whatever it is she's doing but I know she's still upset.  I have tried different approaches, such as saying to her in a positive not upset way, hey I notice that X keeps happening and I'm wondering if I am not being clear enough in my instructions?  Is there anything I or we can do to keep this from happening in the future?  Even those times when the tone of the conversation is constructive and she is not upset, she is still non responsive.  She will just say "no there's nothing, I just forgot/made a mistake/etc" which doesn't help me.  't I really just don't know how to get through to her.  She has worked at daycares, but comes across as someone who has never had a real job and therefore, does not know what it means to be or act professional.  [/quote]

What she's telling you through her silence is that she [i]can't[/i] do these things. Maybe she's shy and doesn't want to call people or be around people she doesn't know. Maybe she has a hard time thinking ahead (ADD?). Maybe she is just terrible at planning out a schedule. Maybe she has no work skills at all, and can't figure out how to write down a list or look at a calendar.

Whatever it is, you have tried and it isn't working. That is the conversation you need to have with her, and then you need to give her a long notice period and some severance to be nice if she hasn't found a new job yet, and you need to move on. She sounds like someone who is good with infants.[/quote]

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