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[quote=Anonymous]I've been nannying for a family for a little over a year now. This is my first full time job and I make 10.25 an hour which is ok pay for the area I'm in. I love the kids but I don't know how much longer I can deal with DB.

First off, DB is home a lot of the time. Probably 20-25 of the 40 hours I work he's sitting in the living room watching TV (not always child appropriate) and drinking. I know it's his home and this is his family and he's actually paying me to take care of the kids but it really bugs me. Especially since almost all of the kids toys are in the TV room and they have an open concept so wherever you are, even the kitchen, you can see and hear the TV. It's also hard because if I ever try to set boundaries with the kids or enforce rules they'll go to dad for a second opinion. He's gone as far as letting the kids out of timeout to give them candy so they'll stop crying because the crying was interfering with his TV. I feel a lot of pressure while he's there to just keep the kids quiet and happy which makes correcting bad behavior really hard. Not to mention, I really hate having to tell the kids we can't play a game because its too loud and dads watching TV.

I usually deal with DB by taking the kids out of the house to the park or the library to play for a few hours just to get a break.  When the kids aren't around DB they're pretty close to angels. They're still kids of course but they listen so much better and they can actually be loud like kids are supposed to be.

DB is always sure to leave right before MB gets home if he does spend the whole day at home. One time he left 10 minutes before she got home. When MB got home I ended up staying about 30 minutes late just to talk about the kids and DB walked in about 10 minutes after she got home so he could make dinner and acted like he had been at work all day. I have no idea if she knows how much he actually works. He does own his own shop so he is his own boss but a lot of times he'll talk about how he stayed at the shop working all night long to justify spending the whole day watching TV. It could just be an understanding between them but it frustrates me to see MB go to work every single day only to come home to take care of the kids all by herself while her husband "works late" when in reality he just started his day really late. She's basically a single mom most of the time and I've heard them argue about him pulling his own weight a couple of times.

I haven't said anything though because I don't think its my place but part of me wants to quit and then tell her just in case she doesn't know. I would like to get feedback though on how to handle that or if I should just ignore it.

There was also an incident about two months ago. When I arrived to work on a Monday morning the two year old had a pretty big bruise on her forehead. I asked my five year old charge how it happened and the two year old but neither could tell me. I later came to find out that it happened while the kids were alone upstairs and dad was watching TV downstairs while he was 'babysitting'. It really bothered me but I could tell MB was really unhappy with DB about it so I figured it wouldn't happen again. However later that week I came in and immediately noticed the bruise on the little ones forehead was  considerably worse. My five year old charge told me that while he was upstairs playing with his little sister (dad was of course watching TV) they started playing with a spinning office chair and he accidentally spun it too fast and she fell off and bumped her head. Then he goes on to tell me that dad got really mad at him for it and shook him really hard and threw him into a wall. He had bruises around his arms in the shape of hand prints. I gave him a big hug and told him it wasn't his fault. He didn't seem too shaken which makes me wonder if it happens more when me and MB aren't around. I had to take them outside because DB was still there, drinking beer and I was trying not to cry.

Looking back I honestly don't know if I did the right thing. I waited until DB left and I took pictures of the bruises. When MB came home I told her I wasn't ok with it at all. She was visibly shaken and she assured me that she would talk to DB and it would never happen again. The next day when I came into work DB was there, he was super cheerful, and was acting like nothing at all happened. My five year old charge had those bruises for a week. I feel like DB probably played it off or somehow managed to minimize it with MB.

I took the pictures so if it ever happens again I can show a pattern. I didn't call CPS because having been through that as a kid I don't have a lot of faith that they'd be able to do anything with out more. DB could say kids bruise easy or say his son was lying, etc. I also thought that MB would do more about it. I don't know. I'd really like some more opinions on this because I care about these kids a lot and I want to do the right thing.

Right now I really set on quitting. Seeing DB there every morning and wondering when he's finally going to leave is stressing me out more and more each day. Maybe other nannies could do it better but I'm at a point where I'm willing to accept that I'm just not a good fit for them anymore. The only thing keeping me at this job is how much I care about the kids.

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