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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This behavior is a little bizarre to me.

While I think it is lovely that he feels a tight bond w/you (considering the amount of time he spends in a week w/you), it sounds like he is a child who is lacking deep, personal affection from his parents.

Do you see them as cold, not at all affectionate w/their children??
Do you think his mother also acts indifferent toward him as she seems to around you?

Regardless she needs to back you up about his clinginess.
It isn't fair that you have to deal w/all this on your own.
Together you can both be firm & consistent until the behavior improves.[/quote]

Thank you it is bizarre. Like I mentioned in another post he has had some behavioral issues so it's obvious that his dad is a little over it, he pushes him away a lot because it can be a lot to deal with. I've had to sit them down a couple of times already about other things that I observed and felt were contributing to the behavior. Like shooing him away like a fly just makes him turn it up a notch. Or telling him not to do something but then once he does it anyway not intervening and stopping but just letting it go because they don't want to deal. He in essence ignores their voices and doesn't listen to them at all now. I've stressed eye contact and direct communication would help a lot. Mb is more affectionate than the dad but because he isn't very clingy with her and more so with me, I've noticed she doesn't push for hugs etc from him. When she comes home she never even asks for a hug or kiss anymore and when the toddler was younger I had to literally put him in her arms because she wouldn't take him from me. Yet at the same time she holds him a lot. I don't know if that makes sense. Like she  holds him to keep him out of things but not because it's her baby and she needs a hug from him.

They (parents) both complain about how hands off their parents are as grandparents and how disinterested they seem. So I feel this may be something that is just a part of who they are. Every art project we have done, drawing at school, hand writing practice sheet etc goes straight in the garbage that night. Nothing gets put up or displayed. It was unbelievable when I first started. I would look for something and he would say "oh mommy threw it in the trash after you left last night" I thought he was making it up but he wasn't. She's not mean at all and loves him a lot but it's just some parental instincts lacking with them.

It's never occurred to me before talking with you all that all of this is tied together and that he could be overcompensating with me. I just assumed once I left he did the same thing to her. But lately is when I realized he doesn't embrace her physically when she leaves it comes back. And that's only because I have been redirecting his affection for me onto her to make him let me go. She just watches. But db constantly wants a hug from my younger charge.[/quote]

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