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[quote=Anonymous]My NF thoughtfully invited me to NK's first birthday.  The problem is that it will be a smallish party with their extended family and NK is both naturally shy and going through separation anxiety right now.  I have been with her since she was a week old 50 hours per week and am really the primary attachment figure for now (she is very close to mom and dad and they are great parents, but she spends most of her time with me at this stage).  I know that with a lot of people she doesn't know super well all wanted her attention and trying to hold her that she will likely want me to hold her the entire time.  MB and DB don't mind (they get that this is a phase and are just happy to know she loves her caregiver), but the extended family sometimes gets annoyed with her if she doesn't go to them and one grandma in particular is sometimes very competitive with me/the other grandma.  I just think it will be very awkward, and that if I am not there NK with transfer her clinginess to MB or DB, which will be more understandable to the family.  Am I overthinking?  How can I politely say no?  When I said that I might be busy that day, DB said they would reschedule (including having family travel a different weekend).[/quote]

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