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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I agree with the PP that this list is not a helpful conversation starter.  There is an onvious "right" choice and no parent is going to admit that their parenting style is "Neglective" for example.

[b]So you are welcome to judge people but if you want to have an open and honest discussion, talk to parents about[/b]:

1) books/resources that resonant with them (positive discipline adherants I would ask follow-up questions to see whether they are actually permissive vs. Super Nanny fans might lean towards authoritarian vs. Parents who talk a lot about "free range" might lean towards neglective

2) Real life examples ("How would you handle XYZ?")

3) House rules (can be VERY) telling

But every permissive parent has doled out at least a few consequences, and every authoritative parent has given a few hugs,nand every neglectful parent gives their kid SOME attention,mso parents convince themselves they are closer to the ideal than reality bears out.[/quote]

I see. Another defensive mb that's is probably going respond by saying that she is a nanny  :roll: 
I doubt you clicked on the sources and even looked into anything that was said in the OP.  In my line of work I actually have asked the very questions that you mentioned. Guess what? Parents lie. And usually when working with permissive parents they know that they are not doing what they say they do and that is why it's evident in the behavior of the child.

lol I really do guess you have never been a teacher, nanny or even a center director attempting to talk to parents that witnesses a child go completely off the grid once mom or dad appears and that parent that acts as if they usually handle these things stands back and wants YOU to be the one to discipline their child as they began dirtying your freshly straightened and cleaned shelves in the classroom, directors office, or things in their home? Things they would never do when they are just with you but know it's all good once they walk in. Yes it's normal for kids to act out a bit for moms attention but when it is a regular occurrence and time and time again you notice that they are the parents that want to avoid confrontation with their child and prefer someone else do it for them despite what they SAY.

It also works the other way. Something being taken away from a child or a child constantly being sent to their room or the slightest thing and a parent feeling they are handling it but you know that the child had other reasons for doing what they did yet mom may fly off the handle without even attempting to discuss it because they are in such a hurry to discipline. Some kids actually tense up when one parent in particular comes around because they know they are expected to walk the straight and narrow and feel as though they can't just be a kid (authoritarian)

I think we can look at a lot of these threads posted here (which got me to thinking of this in the first place) and see that this is an issue.  Mbs posting threads about pushover (permissive) nannies that don't know what they are doing and letting the kids run roughshod over them.  Nannies posting about the kids they are practically raising and handing over to other care givers and how the kids never see their parents (neglective). It's all here.

Unless this is your line of work and you have built up years of experience with numerous situations with many different families, I don't expect you to be able to see how obvious and on point the research is. You only know what you have seen. Yes there are some variables that can be added and taken away but overall this is accurate. Please read the links.[/quote]

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