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[quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thanks for the advice about a retention bonus. Great idea.

To answer 11:27, I don't know. I didn't really know what questions to ask when we signed up. (We got on the list as soon as we cleared the 1st trimester. My head was still spinning that it was really happening.) Several colleagues have told me they got in with numbers far further down the waiting list, but that was years ago and their experience may not apply. We were told that most openings occur in January or September. Thanks for the tips on what follow-up questions to ask.

In any case, even if we get into a center, we most likely will not want to suddenly stop with the nanny or au pair anyway. We have no family here and will want the extra help. Nanny or au pair could help me two days a week, for example, even after we're in a center. I just don't think it's going to be one of those situations where it's suddenly done, at least not on our side. We would be able to ensure for our part, anyway, that any transition is mutually agreeable, even if that transition occurs many months after our LO gets a spot at a center.

As for the au pair,, I appreciate your advice 19:50, but you are assuming some things about us that are incorrect. We both speak multiple languages, both are former college professors in cultural studies, DH is an immigrant, etc. There is no question that we could provide an emotionally supportive and educational experience to an au pair. Finances aren't the central concern either. It truly is a question of space and the challenges of adding two new people to our tiny household. I just don't know what that's like.

In summary, it sounds like the trade-offs are as follows:

* part-time nanny - more privacy at home and flexibility for us (with respect to transitioning to center care), but higher costs and more uncertainty about duration of care (she could leave at a time that's inconvenient for us)

* au pair - less privacy and flexibility, costs could be about the same (maybe a little more or a little less than a nanny), but a little more certainty about duration of care (assuming the match works) and a little more support

Does that about capture it?[/quote]

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