Reply to Nanny seems to think our money grows on trees

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[quote=Anonymous]We aren't rich. We can afford a nanny because we make sacrifices elsewhere and have carefully budgeted for the next few years (the length of time we will need the nanny). We have money in savings for emergencies and we are fine financially but try not to spend unnecessarily. We try to be generous with our nanny because she goes above and beyond for us and she deserves it. We gave her a generous bonus for the holidays as well as some small presents. Once, last year, we gave her a couple of hundred dollars for a procedure we knew she really needed urgently but couldn't afford. She needed the money more than we did and we were happy to help her for something so important but we don't have unlimited resources. I don't think our finances are our nanny's business but it's starting to bother me that she seems to think we do have unlimited funds. She recently tried to get my DD to ask us to buy her a plane ticket out of the country to visit her family. She will also make comments like I should just buy the children an extra x, y or z. DS lost his jacket at school the other day. We found it the next day but she commented that I should just buy him another one so he has a backup in case he loses it again. Um, no, he needs to just not lose his jacket. When my DD had a small hole in her pants the nanny told me to just buy her a new pair. It took me 5 minutes to just sew the hole instead.

I think this bothers me for 2 reasons. 1. I feel like her expectations for our generosity have gone us (ie buying her plane ticket) and 2. I want to instill in my children certain values that her attitude is kind of negating. They are young now but we are starting to try to teach them that things cost money. Mommy and Daddy work to make money to be able to provide them with things like food and shelter and I want them to have an appreciation for things like that and not just that we can spend money on whatever we want. I'm not sure I'm explaining myself eloquently but even if we were rich, I wouldn't want to children growing up spoiled thinking they don't need to take care of their possessions because they can always just buy another one or all they have to do is just ask for something and we'll buy it.

So I'm not sure what my question is but I just need advice on how to handle this sticky situation. I don't want to make our nanny uncomfortable at all but I also don't want to continually have to say "no I'm not going to buy DS another jacket when he has a perfectly good one." Nor do I want to have to explain to my DD why we can't buy our nanny a plane ticket just because she wants one.[/quote]

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