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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We had a nanny where this got out of control. It started out with him coming a few minutes early to pick her up and say hi to the kids, then he started coming to have lunch with her, then he started sometimes meeting them at the park, and finally we got into territory where I felt like she was, at times, letting him share childcare duties (especially at the park or something -- there were three children 3 and under).

So, I did sit down with her and say exactly what you said here: I had hired her, not him, he seemed great and I trusted her judgement, but I had also run background checks on her, interviewed her, she had the CPR and First Aid training, and I had trust in her. I also said that I knew they were young and newlywed, and loved being together, but that I would appreciate keeping the lunch dates to a rare treat (like once a month, maybe), and that she let me know if she needed help for outings.

I also said it was fine with me if he joined them sometimes at the park or somewhere (because it was fine with me), but that she was in charge, and she needed to make sure everyone was safe, and he was following whatever the rules were, too (things like, if a child says "stop," you stop if you're tickling him).

My other thought was liability, actually. I didn't have worker's comp on him, and was not interested in covering damage to his car or belongings. In fact, before we had this conversation, he broke his phone when he forgot to take it out his pocket while playing with the kids at the park (he went upside down on a bar). I did not offer to pay for that.[/quote]

Wow.  This is all ridiculous. Do you really think your nanny needs to be reminded to tell her husband to stop if her husband is tickling them?
Why would you be liable for him at a park? Did they ask you to pay for the phone?
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