Reply to SO on overnight guest post: What am I missing re romantic sleepovers?

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[quote=Anonymous]I'm the HM who started the whole ruckus in the other thread - our AP has his GF sleep over all the time.  Here is why we are 100% happy about it:

1) AP and his GF are involved in a monogamous, long-term, committed relationship.  They are best friends and spend all their non-working time together.

2) AP and GF are great role models for my my young teen about how to be both best friends and in a relationship.

3) AP and his GF are both incredibly respectful, kind, warm, and appreciative.  We know her well, as she eats at our house a fair amount, and she is always lovely, always comes to say hello and goodbye when she comes and goes, and she is extremely appreciative of being included with our family.  She has made us dessert thank yous on several occasions but even more- she smiles and says thank you all the time, and that means the most.

4) The relationship in NO WAY impedes AP's ability to do an excellent job.  In fact, if anything it contributes, because he is so happy and feels so at home in our house.

5) AP and GF are not doing anything at all to call attention to what may or may not be going on behind closed doors.  I know they are having sex because I asked him if they were using protection (that led to another broohaha on here a few months ago), but other than that, I would not know at all based on anything because I have not heard, seen, or been subject to anything that makes me in the least bit uncomfortable.

6) My children ask zero questions and consider it perfectly normal that best friends might share a room.  My husband and I are best friends, and AP and his GF are best friends.

Previous APs have had GF/BFs, and we have made decisions about sharing rooms on case-by-case bases.  We would never in a million years allow a random hook-up, never allow someone to just bring a person home and expect him/her to sleep over, or carry on and act in a way that made anyone uncomfortable.  In the three cases of APs who have had SOs (one from home and two met here), they were all, again, longterm, committed, monogamous relationships.  When I was 19, I was allowed to share a room with my serious boyfriend when we came to visit my parents from college, and this is the same thing - it's a recognition of a serious, committed, not-only-or-even-mostly-about-sex relationship.

Other families should of course do what they think is right, but this is our take.

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