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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If you don't want the husband to come over (certainly your right to say no),  are you prepared for her to decide she doesn't want to work the overnights? Having her husband there will  more than likely give her a sense of normalcy and help prevent burnout. Being around kids all day is hard. They don't carry a conversation. They whine and cry for no reason sometimes.  You're tired at the end of the day. And you don't want her to even what's a meal with the person she's married to? Would your boss do that to you on a business trip, or would you just have dinner with the husband and not mention it? You're asking her to give up her days off so you can do something fun and you also want to sequester her from her family. Nice. Went done you and your husband flip a coin and decide which one goes to the wedding and Eric by stays home with the kids since you're so paranoid. [/quote]

Unfortunately, none of your business analogies work here. Yes, when you travel for business and there is a business dinner, your boss usually does not want your husband. And, no, she is not "giving up" her days off while staying over night, as she is paid to do it and is a special business need.

The situation is difficult precisely b/c your analogies with "real jobs" and "burnout" do not work.

One thing you are right, PP -- maybe one should hire ANOTHER nanny for that type of arrangement. (Though that may offend the actual nanny also.)[/quote] so OP is giving the nanny two days off after the wedding?  I missed that. If not,  then the nanny is indeed giving up her days off regardless of whether she's being paid. Money doesn't take away tired or burned out. Plenty of people mistakenly think it does and they lead pretty miserable lives full of anger,  anxiety,  alcohol abuse,  aggressive driving etc whereas people tend to be happier with a better work life balance. [/quote]

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