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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Summer Live-In Nanny (Martha's Vineyard Edgartown) 
Let me just start out by saying.. if you are looking for a 9 - 5 nanny position, are a primadona, have issues with respecting others, text and drive, text on the beach, takes selfies 24*7, read no further.

I have two wonderful girls who can be singing and dancing together one moment and in a wrestling match the next. My girls are messy, busy, bouncing off the walls, but mostly funny and wonderful. I am looking for someone from mid-May through 1st week in September.

My girls are super busy, sometimes they actually need to be in two places at one time, I need someone who can read my mind, know which one is more important and make that call. The kids sail, swim, play tennis, hockey and dance, I need you to love every one of those activities. 
I can be a tad difficult to work for. I'm loud, always multi-tasking, completely disorganized, I work from home, so you the pleasure of being in my presence all day long and, you get to pretend to like me.

If you cannot multi-task, communicate clearly (you won't offend me), don't bother replying. 
If you are the type who doesn't notice crumbs on the table, sand on the floor, wet suits in the car, skip to the next post, because these are deal breakers they put me over the edge.

I have all sorts of theories on how to stack my dishwasher, fold laundry and if you are judgmental about Ritalin for ADHD, or ice cream before dinner, again, deal break city.

This is a live-in situation if you do not have housing already. You do get a room and your own bathroom in our home. You will get the largest guest bedroom in the house. However, we do sometimes have family visit and I may need you to move to a smaller bedroom while they are here (at the most two weeks). If this upsets you, don't email me. We have central air, wifi, and cable, you will have your own tv and plenty of down-time.

If you can cook, all the better, otherwise, I will teach you all sorts of things about pasta. I need someone who can cook two different types of macaroni and cheese at exactly the same time and also be able to open a can of tuna and remember which pot it goes in.

I am not looking for Super nanny, or anyone who wants this job because they will love my kids as if they are their own. I am looking for someone who will keep my children happy (though no child is ever always happy), keep them safe, get them to their summer activities, play with them on the beach. Playing on the beach means actually playing with them, not posting selfies and updating Instagram while a shark is about to chew off their leg or my 9 year old is ingesting sand. I need a team player. I need someone to back me up when it comes to remembering when the library books are due, whether we are running low on milk and dear lord, where is that second sneaker??

I do expect that when the children are at camp or an activity that you will want to go get coffee or sit on the beach, that's fine. However, if there is a 3 hour gap, I need help, offer to throw a load of laundry in, put those dishes in the dishwasher, clean up those beach towels that have been sitting for three days.

One a serious note:
-I need you to have a valid clean driver's license and record
- I need you to be able to swim, CPR certified is a big plus
- My hours vary so does your schedule, a typical day is 8 (8:30) -- 3:30 (4). Occasionally, I will need you to sit an evening or two. This will be communicated and scheduled at least 3 days in advance
- You may take a secondary job working evenings, if this interests you, I can help you find a job
- You will have access to a personal vehicle while caring for the girls. For after hour activities, you need your own car. 
- You will need to provide 3 credible references
- You like children
- We have a dog that we adore, we will hope that you adore her too!

Please know, I am relatively easy going, however, I will not be walked over by someone who is coming here for a summer vacation. If you go out with your friends until 1 a.m., have at it. But you better be ready and up in the morning and look like you are ready to run a marathon. What you do on your own time is your business but don't let it affect mine. [/quote]
Way too stupid to be real. Please try harder.[/quote]

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