Reply to Nannies, how do you win the hearts of new charges and parents?

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[quote=Anonymous]I approach every position as a clean slate.  It doesn't matter to me where or when I met the child, or if I never met them before.  With toddlers and older, I let them come to me with verbal and physical affection, waiting them out, but I smile, encourage, praise effort and generally make sure that they know that I'm there when they want or need me.  For infants and young toddlers, I narrate our days, but I also narrate my feelings and what they seem to be feeling, and I cuddle, kiss and tickle when it seems appropriate.  Some children open up quickly, some take a long time.  I've had kids who were so starved for attention tell me that they love me during a Skype interview, and I've had a charge who took over 6 months before she would smile at me or say anything positive to me.  For me, it's all about being positive and happy yet firm with boundaries, letting them set the pace for displays of affection and accepting that each child forms a bond with their nanny in their own time and in their own way.

Parents are a whole different ball of wax.  Most nannies quit positions due to parents, not charges.  No matter how terrible a child's phase is, the nanny can remind herself that this is a child, it's a phase, it will pass.  With parents, a nanny has to breathe, stay calm, and not scream at them when they are being completely unreasonable.  I've had some great employers, while others were horrible.  One dad told me at least once a week that he wished he could afford to pay me what I was worth and he was grateful that I was there with his family even though we both knew that I could make more elsewhere.  Another dad told me that I was worthless and tried to rape me.  I give every employer the benefit of the doubt, hoping that they will do what is best for the child.  As long as I can see that the intent is to do the best for the child, I can and will put up with many things from the parents, and I will do it while smiling and not saying a word.  If the intent behind the latest scheme is obviously not in the child's best interest, nothing will keep me from speaking my mind to them, but I will do it in private when all heads are cool.[/quote]

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