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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have someone who comes in for about 15hrs a week to care for our 2 kids.

There have been many (minor) issues, but the one that is front and center right now is that my 4yo does NOT listen to the caregiver.  I[b] had hired her a couple mornings a week to make the mornings easier to get her ready for school, but she was simply not able to help get her ready for school.  So I took over that role, while she watched our younger,[/b] who would often cry for me because he's having separation anxiety at this age.

When I leave the house, and I ask the caregiver to make sure she brushes her teeth, she'll say ok.  But then she never does it.  I ask my daughter later if she had her teeth brushed and she says no, she didn't want to.  So the caregiver never pushes it, but also doesn't tell me that she never brushed her teeth!  It bothers me that a) she can't seem to get my daughter to listen to her and b) she doesn't tell me anything about it and always just gives me the general, "oh they were great." when I ask her how the day went.  The teeth brushing thing is just one example.

Is there a way to improve this situation?  Or should I just find a new caregiver?[/quote]

Your child got what she wanted: your attention.  You rewarded the bad behavior and set the nanny up in the child's eyes as someone to whom she doesn't have to give respect or listen.  That is on you, not the nanny.

Now, the nanny may not be capable of handling a strong-willed 4 year old, but if she isn't, she had no business taking your position.

There is very little chance that you can change the nanny's role is your daughter's eyes now.  You need to find someone else and get out of the way.  Let the nanny work with your daughter, and either they get out on time or there is a consequence, and the nanny is the one who will deal with it, not you.[/quote]

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