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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]WHen we were first hiring a nanny two of them asked us what our current discipline system was. Our kid was four MONTHS old. She literally needed zero discipline. So we said we had no system. Both were annoyed. We thought they were stupid. I'm sure it's for the best we didn't work together.

As she grew and gained autonomy over her body and could do more than lay around looking cute, we came up with systems and whatever else was needed. But now our oldest is four, and it'd be like asking us today what our college application plan for her is. That's not the stage we're in.[/quote]

If your child (as an infant) pulled the nanny's hair while being held, what would you expect the nanny to do?  How would that differ from what you would expect the nanny to proceed when your child is 1, 2, 4?

OP here.  My issue is that I've talked to several parents lately who won't allow the child to be told no, whether it's an outright no or different phrasing (Larlo, we don't pull hair).  My personal opinion is that I can't work for a family like that, because I'm always thinking of the worst case scenario, and trying to prevent it.  If I can't tell a child not to reach for the stove, not to run into the road or not to eat something, I can't prevent injury.

With infants and young toddlers, most nannies and parents can agree that redirection works best, but some parents won't allow that.  I'm trying to figure out how the nanny is expected to keep their kids safe, healthy and well-mannered, but I can't figure it out.  By no means am I saying that a parent should be required to come up with a discipline system, I'm just confused about how it actually works.[/quote]

If my infant pulled the nanny's hair at four months old I'd expect the nanny to unclench the baby's hand from her hair. Redirecting a four month old is useless. At one, I'd expect "Ow, that hurt!" followed by redirection and at two and up, a punishment of not being allowed to be close until they can agree to stop pulling. But I say no to my 2.5 yr old and 4 yr old all the time. When I remember, I tell them why I'm saying no. [/quote]

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