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[quote=Anonymous]MB here.

That is extremely difficult OP.

It is also unsustainable.

Take a step back and figure out what you would do if you were hiring a nanny now (without regard - for the moment - for the current nanny and those challenges.)

Make a list of the critical requirements of the job, the "must haves' and then a list of the "desired, but not a deal-breaker" things.

Then look at your current nanny and assess whether she can do the job.  Would she be a viable candidiate if you posted the job today?  If not, then you have your answer and the problem you have is how to let her go and find someone else.

The easiest way to do that is to throw money at the problem.  Give her as generous a severance package as you can possibly manage, including an amount that will cover her health insurance costs for a few months.

Hire a replacement.  Use an agency for the short term while you are searching (if need be).

It will feel awful, and be incredibly stressful, but a month from now you will be relieved to have someone who can be more reliable in the job.

It might also be a relief for your nanny at this point.  It doesn't feel good to live w/ this level of stress and illness and anxiety about work, etc...

Obviously I don't know your particulars, but if I were in this position I would look at her weekly take home amount (for our nanny her net pay is a couple of hundred dollars less than her gross income.)  I would then see if I could pay her a lump sum that is the equivalent of perhaps three months of net salary, plus three months (or maybe even more) of health insurance payments.  I would give her that lump sum in cash. (Yes this is not legal.  I would take that risk.)  I would make it very clear that the only reason we are doing this is because we have to have reliable, safe care for our kids, but we also care for her and want to find a way to give her some time to get better.  I'd also give her an honest, but strong reference letter and agree to be available for reference calls when she is ready to take another position.

Your judgment is clouded because of your concern for her personally, which I understand.  But your primary responsibility is the safe care of your children and it is quite clear that you have concerns about that.  So I think you need to bite the bullet.

Good luck.[/quote]

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