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[quote=Anonymous]I posted this in the general parenting forum and they suggested I post in the nanny forum. I'm hoping nannies will have some advice.

My toddler (22 months) keeps biting the other child in our nanny share. He does not bite us but keeps biting in the nanny share. The worst is the nanny is not reporting it to us, only the other parents, which is a point of contention. It makes it seem like we do not care since we are not aware until we hear it from the other family or see the bruises and bite marks and I am not sure how the nanny is addressing my child's behavior with biting. She always says "there is not much you can do...they are so young". Yes, I realize developmentally my toddler does not understand biting and yes, I realize I need to have a serious conversation with the nanny how each biting incident should be addressed and reported to me and my husband on a daily basis. I think that the nanny feels uncomfortable telling us, but I feel like it makes us look like we do not care about the other child's well being as our son is continuing to bite his best friend, whom he loves. Any advice?

I talked to the pediatrician and she indicated it is normal at this age and disciplining like time out really won't work as he doesn't understand. I work in early childhood and I know that we tell staff to observe and shadow the children, making sure that each time biting occurs, it is being reported. What occurred prior to the biting? Was there any observable behavior? How was the biter addressed? How was the victim.

I tend to think that if the nanny was shadowing the children more, that there might be less of these incidents, but I also don't want to blame her as I know what it is like as a former nanny myself of two children. We also do not require any housework, except light chores related to the care of the children which are only to occur during naptime. This is washing and putting away dishes or sippy cups kids used, cleaning counters or putting away toys. Our kids sleep for two hours most days.

With my son, when he was biting my husband and I, I have already done time outs, which don't seem to work, redirecting and placing his own palm to his mouth so he can see that teeth hurt. I have actually witnessed him bite his own hand. He no longer bites us, but is biting at the nanny share child I am not sure what the nanny is doing to address it with my son the biter. She doesn't really give us a lot of information about what is going on during the biting.

I don't like this behavior one bit (no pun intended) and while I realize my son doesn't realize he is hurting his friend, it would kill me as a parent to everyday see bite marks and bruises on my child from the other child in the nanny share. Advice please. I am besides myself with anxiety about this situation. I don't want the other little boy to continue to get bit by my son and I want to make sure this behavior is addressed and corrected. It is making me sick. [/quote]

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