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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It isn't as grim as you describe.  We have a FT nanny and our kids are 2.5 years apart.

Keep in mind that the baby will sleep quite a bit in the beginning.  I think our son was sleeping about 3.5 to 5 hours during the time our nanny was with the kids (works 8 hrs/day).  Our daughter started PT preschool 6 months after the baby arrived.  (btw, I know money may be tight, it is for us, but one of the programs my DD attended is $190 mo/ for 1 day a week (9:30 to 2:30).  They didn't really start socializing w/ one another until they turned 3 though.  A lot of side by side play during year 2.)

Depending on when you start with the nanny, we paid her for two kids as soon as we got back from the hospital (no family to help out and DH has to return back to work unexpectedly (boss passed away)).  I spent most of my time during maternity leave (when I wasn't pumping) spending time with my oldest.  Since my son napped quite a bit, I would go on trips to the library or grocery store with my older child.  Also, my nanny was able to leave my napping son with me while she took my daughter to a weekly music class.

A few months later, she took both to music class (surprisingly my son loves music and started singing songs around 15 mo. old) which is generally free for the sibling who is less than 1 years old.  She also took them to the weekly store hour at the public library that my oldest has been attending since about 6 months.  They also have play dates with other nanny/families about 1x/week.  Taking walks (get a good double stroller, we bought one off of Craiglist as already purchased UppaBaby with no. 1).

My DD started PT preschool about 6 months after the baby arrived so the baby got quality 1 on 1 time with our nanny.  If anything, I noticed that our nanny paid more attention to the older one as she was able to vocalize her wants and our youngest would have to chill.  (Also, my youngest was in day care briefly (while nanny recovering from surgery)) and he never got all the attention due to the ratio of infants to caregivers.).

My youngest recently transitioned to 1 nap/day (about 2 hours) but before that he was regularly sleeping twice a day.  During these times, my oldest gets quality one on one time with the older child.  They read, play games, do art projects, build legos, etc.

Just look for an experienced nanny.  Our nanny has raised 3 kids (close in age) as a SAHM, and nanny to family of 3 girls (also close in age) for 6 years.

Good luck.[/quote]

It sounds like your oldest wasn't in full time daycare prior to the birth of the younger sibling.  Kids in daycare change activities frequently and don't self-direct play at all.  Competent nannies make older sibling learn to wait a few minutes while they care for the baby who needs a bottle, and they make older siblings learn to self-direct, at an age-appropriate level.  Most nannies will tell you that pulling a child out of daycare to keep home all day is a recipe for disaster.[/quote]

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