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[quote=Anonymous]1. Two out of three kids don't like her (possibly 3 out of 3).  This is a red flag.  Kids shouldn't dislike the nanny to that degree.  If they do, you should already know why, and the reason should be obvious (child who disappeared is no longer allowed out of nanny's sight, kids aren't allowed technology due to misuse).

2.  Nannies only know how to handle situations for which they've trained or had experience, and no two children act exactly the same.  Yes, most nannies who work with sibling groups have multiple techniques to use to defuse sibling rivalry.  But if your nanny has never worked with sibling old enough to fight or hasn't worked with siblings at all, she wouldn't have that experience.  Additionally, she may have only worked with sibling groups in which the kids were 3+ years apart, which cuts down on the rivalry.

3. Discipline varies from nanny to nanny, and from family to family.  Most nannies have a variety of ways of handling things because parents allow them to use different discipline methods.

Example:  Two kids (8 and 10) are arguing instead of getting ready for school.
Natural consequences: Nanny puts clothes and shoes in a bag, tells the kids to get in the car.  Kids go to class in pajamas.  Nanny informs the office that the kids are tardy (not excused), hands them the bag and asks that the kids not be told that the clothes are in the office until recess.
Time outs: Doesn't work in this situation.
Removal of toys and privileges: Kids are told that they lost technology privileges for the afternoon/evening.
1-2-3 Magic: Unlikely to work in this situation.  1-2-3 Magic works best when it's only one child having an issue, and when the child is pushing boundaries, not when they are emotional.
Reward chart: Typically only works with kids under 6, and is positive discipline.
Discussion: Kids are too worked up to discuss before school.  Discussion after school is too late.

The other issue is that many families won't allow the nanny to use the same method they use, or everyone starts using the same thing, and then the family slacks off while the nanny tries to remain consistent.

4.  There is zero excuse for a nanny to yell at charges unless they are in danger and are too far away to hear at a normal volume.

5.  If the nanny scares the kids, she needs to be replaced.

6.  If the nanny has an issue with your kids telling you what happens, she needs to be replaced.

7.  If you have the slightest suspicion that the nanny did something to the kids because you talked to her about an issue, whether your kids informed you of the issue or not, she needs to be fired immediately.

Overall, it sounds like you needed to be rid of this nanny months ago.[/quote]

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