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[quote=Anonymous]This is a tough one.  Three year-olds are not super reliable but at the same time, your kid feels how she feels and if she's genuinely uncomfortable for any reason, you need to listen to her.  It doesn't have to mean the sitter abused her or anything like that - there may just be a personality clash.  But that happens, and at the end of the day you have to figure out what is right for your DD.

I think how to proceed depends a lot on the circumstances.  I'd ask your child to elaborate on why she feels that way - and ask multiple times over the course of a few days and see what answers you get.  Also is this an occasional sitter?  Full-time nanny?  Something in between?  And how long has she been working for you?  And how did your DD react to her before?  And how upset is your DD really?  There are a lot of variables to consider and it's hard to evaluate from the outside how much weight to put on each - ultimately, I think you just need to figure out how bad it really is and trust your mommy gut on this one.

Also, I might ask your sitter if something happened.  Honestly, if she was offended and/or quit, that would be a huge red flag to me and I'd feel like I was better off anyway.  I'd hope any and all of my child's caregivers to want my child to feel safe and loved, even when being disciplined.  It may be nothing more than the two of you getting on the same page about discipline or you reminding your DD that she has to listen when the sitter is in charge.  But ultimately - depending on why your DD says she is upset, of course, you may need to hear your sitter's version of the events to decide how to proceed.

FWIW, your sitter could have done everything right, and your DD could still have legitimate negative feelings.  Sometimes personalities conflict and (I say this as someone with a child prone to anxiety) you ultimately just have to weigh all the variables to figure out how to proceed.[/quote]

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