Reply to I didn't want to overlap APs, but then old AP came back early from his travel month....

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[quote=Anonymous]"But, in hindsight, her clear lack of appreciation for my kids really rubbed off on them. They ended the year feeling badly about themselves. Who wants to be left with someone who clearly doesn't really like you, and doesn't have any interest in you?"

This, 1000 percent.

This is my first post here, but I was so moved by it that I just had to chime in.   This just summed up the year with my last au pair who left about 2 months ago. I thought, for most of the year, that it was teetering on either side of "fine."  And I settled for that, on my daughter's behalf and to her ultimate detriment.  I figured our au pair was getting things done, my daughter  (9 years old) was getting where she needed to be on time, etc.   But I knew they had not truly bonded and it declined terribly toward the end -- to the point where I think my daughter started acting out on purpose (and I honestly don't blame her -- at worst she was with someone whom she knew didn't like her; at best, she was with someone entirely un-fun and sour)

It was not until the last two months of this au pair's tenure that I really opened my eyes to see how the total lack of the relationship (which is actually charitable -- it was a bad relationship if I'm being honest)  impacted my daughter to the core.  I had left her for the year with someone who clearly didn't like her.  We later learned that even my daughter's friends could see the au pair didn't like her, and adding insult to injury, we also learned that the outgoing sour au pair tried to poison the well but saying unkind things about my daughter to the incoming au pair.  I have never been so happy to be done with someone as when she left my house for good.

If I could go back I would absolutely have sent the old au pair into re-match. Our new au pair (who thankfully did not take the bait of the old au pair, and made up her own mind about us/my daughter) is a dream -- a total rock star who restored my faith in the au pair program, who treats my daughter with kindness and is FUN but also responsible and in charge.   I can see a difference in my child -- her  confidence is noticeably stronger; she is more of her bubbly self.  I would already do anything to make sure mu current au pair has a great year, due to my deep gratitude for her treatment of my child, after coming off such a terrible year.  I take full responsibility for not really seeing what was going on last year, and letting the situation get to where it did.  I won't do it again  and I hope others can learn from my mistake.

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