Reply to I didn't want to overlap APs, but then old AP came back early from his travel month....

Forum Index » Au Pair Discussion

Reply to "I didn't want to overlap APs, but then old AP came back early from his travel month...."

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]"I think you also need to stop connecting the two APs. What is done is done. But you're comparing the two. It's natural, but unfair. Evaluate your new AP as an individual, knowing that the "new" AP always suffers by comparison when you've just had a great year with your last AP. If he/she just really isn't into your kids, I'd consider a rematch. That's a tough year."

Yes, this is exactly my issue.  I was fine with seeing new AP as his own person and giving him time to settle and get to know our children and household while still worrying that it was a slow start.  But old AP coming back early just sort of messed up that process....and made it all so APPARENT that new AP is having a slow start (he feels it too - this isn't just from our perspective) and that things aren't going as we all had hoped.  I really feel for him and feel awful that I ended up with the comparison right in front of me, when really, all I wanted to do was evaluate new AP on his own merits.

In some ways, my guilt over the inadvertent overlap of APs - something I never think is a good idea for new APs - has both made me easier on new AP but also made me slower to address the issues I see brewing.  Yesterday's tears by DC brought it to a head, though, so I am glad to have the "elephant in the room" recognized and called out for what it is.  I need to remember that the key thing is that there isn't good connection (yet) with new AP and DC and that new AP does not seem (or admit) to enjoy spending time with DC, and NOT that new AP isn't as good as old AP was.  Good reminder to keep these things separated in my head.  Thanks.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics