Reply to I didn't want to overlap APs, but then old AP came back early from his travel month....

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Reply to "I didn't want to overlap APs, but then old AP came back early from his travel month...."

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[quote=Anonymous]Please also remind your youngest that new AP likes him and wants to know him better and would love it if your son enjoyed being with him. Remind your son that it's not new AP's fault that old AP had to leave but that's how it goes and just because he loves new AP doesn't mean that he has to love old AP less. I undestand that you are trying to emotionally support your son by allowing him to bawl his eyes out for 20 minutes and not playing with AP and not going with AP to make lunch. And that's okay. BUT... it would also be okay to allow him to cry for 20 minutes, have a cookie and then cheer up and go help new AP with lunch. Of course new AP isn't happy in a situation where a child he is supposed to be taking care of is crying and unwilling to spend time with him. And of course your son is unhappy with an unhappy AP.

Yes, from what your new AP said it seems that he is willing to take the blame and understand that he is (at least partially) responsible for the situation as it is... but if you allow your son to not bond with new AP and allow him to sulk you are not helping the situation. And try to stay positive. Do not send out "Ah, we will have to go into rematch because youngest doesn't like AP so why bother" vibes. Children can feel them coming from us. If AP tries to change his ways see if you can also make your son try. You can help them bond by making them do stuff together (cook, go to the zoo, go to the playground - whatever you know your child enjoys).

I have seen APs going into rematch because a child wanted their old AP back or wanted mom/dad to stay at home with them. Children, even young children, can play us that way. Going into rematch can help, yes. If you are lucky you will end up with a replacement your youngest bonds with instantly... but you might end up in the same situation and you can't go into rematch again and again because your son won't bond.

[When I was an AP in the US my youngest was 15 months. It took her weeks to bond with me. The older were easy, two bonded quicker, the third needed more time as she had been awfully close with the last AP. But the youngest wouldn't even so much as look at me for the first week. After a month we were inseperable and she was clinging to me whenever we were in the same room. It happens. It isn't necessarily bad if bonding takes a little while as long as the AP does a blah job and makes sure the kids are safe.][/quote]

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