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[quote=Anonymous]I dread having to work during maternity leaves. You say in your post that you are focusing on your newborn daughter yet you also want to spend time with DD. this is totally understandable, but to have you in and out really wreaks havoc on your older DD. she's confused about why you are home, why you and DH are focused on something other than her, why you are home but she can't see you, and why you are in and out. as a nanny, this means I need to spend a good portion of the day calming your child who is already going through a huge transition. if I were your nanny I would absolutely want to spend as much time out of the house as possible - not necessarily because you are home, but because it is easier on my charge. it's a very frustrating situation for all involved and even more so when you are checking in on her constantly. additionally, I usually stay out of the house as much as possible during maternity leave because I want my MB to feel rested and like she doesn't have to confine herself to one or two rooms without having to deal with a screaming toddler.

you can do a few things - schedule certain times to switch off with the nanny about who watches which child, schedule time for the 4 of you to be home doing some activity together, schedule a day (or all days) to eat lunch together, etc. instead of popping in and out, having clear cut times when you will be with them and when you will not be will help all involved.[/quote]

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