Reply to I didn't want to overlap APs, but then old AP came back early from his travel month....

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[quote=Anonymous]I am one of those "never overlap" HMs.  I've done it twice, and each time it was a massive mistake.  New AP never got settled because she relied too much on old AP, children never bonded with new AP, and I also had a hard time allowing new AP to start over in his or her own way with new approaches, new methods, and new outlooks...it was just easier to have new AP learn the ways old Ap did everything, but of course new AP could never be as good as old AP was at old AP's methods.  So I just stopped letting this situation even occur.

So, old AP left in August and went away traveling, and new AP arrived.  His start was slower than others...he has bonded with our older child but not the one who is 98% of the job.  He seems strict and not particularly flexible, and we are a more flexible (within clear structures), playful household.  He was making progress, slowly, and things were going better, but then suddenly old AP came back for three full days instead of one before leaving the country.  The children were SOOO excited to see him.  He and I and DH slid back into our comfortable ways.  He sort of swooped back in and became a part of things again.  And now new AP is sort of on the outskirts...doesn't fit in as well with us personality-wise, doesn't yet mesh with the younger child (who simply ADORES old AP), and doesn't really yet know the ropes of our job so is sort of just standing there watching old AP, trying to do what he does but doing it sort of half-ways and without the same energy.  Sigh.

I really, really, really didn't want to do this to new AP, but now that it's done, what do we do?  We were sad saying goodbye to old AP, but we got over that before new AP arrived, but now the loss is fresh again (old AP flew this morning).  What had started slowly with new AP and DC2 is now sort of on hold, as DC2 has had his beloved old AP back and was back doing things with him (asked him to put him to bed, get him up, put him on the bus in the morning, etc).

I guess I really didn't think that this would feel so much like an overlap, because I had hoped and expected that new AP would be more settled after a few weeks and that old AP would be back just a short time, but alas, I am afraid this has set new AP back a good bit.  Advice on what to do?  How explicitly should I address this situation with new AP?[/quote]

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