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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]MB here.  I think you are being too controlling.  If you trust this person with your child you need to trust her.

If you start micromanaging her she will feel diminished, and likely not enjoy working for you.  You do not want to lose a good, trusted, nanny because you were too uptight about controlling her movements.

Try to think about how it actually endangered your child to be in a Starbucks.  Perhaps it was even just a drive-thru and they never got out of the car.  Was your child in harm's way?  Did your nanny violate your trust in her by stopping at Starbucks?  Is your desire to know where your child is every moment of the day serving your insecurity more than the well-being of your child and job enjoyment of your nanny?  If the nanny leaves for another job would you regret anything you're currently doing (or considering doing)?

Think about the big picture.  If you want to retain the nanny you want her to feel some level of independence, autonomy, and confidence in the role.

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Offering to make her coffee is a nice gesture, but she might have something very specific she needs/likes when she gets coffee (does she need lactose free creamer? Maybe she really enjoys mochas or frappucinos that are hard to replicate at home? She might also be getting a snack there like a muffin?). I wouldn't make her coffee unless you understand that she still might choose to go to Starbucks anyway.

I was considering saying "if it really bothers you, talk to her about it and say that you don't mind if they stop there, but you'd like her to text you to let you know where they are if they stop somewhere else besides their planned destination (class, etc)." However, I can't imagine that going well. I've been a nanny for twelve years, and I'm always taking my charges out and about (parks, libraries, museums, classes, etc), and sometimes we do make a quick stop at the coffee shop. My nanny families have noticed but never said anything, and we have had excellent rapports. They trust me to take care of their kids and always look out for their best interests, even if I do make a quick stop for coffee. Come to think of it, some of them even gave me gift cards for coffee shops here and there just because, which was very sweet. If they had ever questioned it, I would feel like they were questioning me and didn't trust me, which would've really hurt my feelings and damaged our professional relationship. Many times our outings would involve multiple stops (library, then park, then perhaps a coffee shop, etc), and it would've been incredibly annoying to have to text MB constantly for each little stop.

If you want to make a big deal out of it, go ahead. But just know that you might end up looking for a new nanny sooner rather than later if you do.[/quote]

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