Reply to When you know you have a "challenging" child, do you mention it in your ad?

Forum Index » Employer Issues

Reply to "When you know you have a "challenging" child, do you mention it in your ad? "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DD is a handful.  [b]She is extremely willful and can throw tantrums that last for several hours.[/b]  She is only 17 months but we have already been through 2 nannies.

I don't want to keep going though the interview process and the turnover of nannies isn't good for DD.

Should I warn potential candidates from the start?  [/quote]

This is just from bad parenting. You could warn nannies of DDs history but your child is not bad or challenging by nature. Find a nanny who is experienced and PROMISE TO SUPPORT HER 100% and follow through with that promise by offering her  the freedom to make changes in DDs routine and run things the way they need to run for DD to get over her behavior issues. Let her know you are there if nanny needs you but otherwise she has control and let her do her thing.[/quote]

Although I think PP worded this rather harshly (not necessarily "bad parenting," maybe just that her previous tantrums weren't handled as well as they could've been, etc), I agree with the overall point. Honestly, the right nanny, working WITH you, and given enough hours with the child per week (no less than 20; 30+ is better), can seriously HELP your DD and your whole family to function more smoothly.

But even the best nanny in the world won't be able to help if you don't fully support her and back her in her methods. I've worked with toddlers who would throw tantrums over things like not getting to watch their favorite tv shows. I would work so hard during the day at showing her that crying and screaming won't help her get what she wants, and distract her with other fun things (usually outings to new parks, nature centers, etc), but the second her mom got home from work, DD would scream until her mom just broke down and turned on the TV (usually within a matter of minutes). Obviously this completely undermined everything I had been doing all day, and no progress could be made. (Well, DD did eventually stop throwing tantrums with me to get what she wanted because she realized I wouldn't give in, but she still threw tantrums with her parents.)

Anyway, hire a nanny with a proven track record and a clear plan for dealing with your daughters outbursts and give her the space and freedom to do what she needs, and reinforce her methods when you are with DD, and things can only improve. But, yes, you need to disclose this to potential nannies from the beginning.[/quote]

Exactly this!  Toddlers are all willful, though some take it to an extreme, the biggest issue is ALL adults being consistent (that means the babysitter on a weekend evening, Grandma, nanny, MB/DB, etc).  Your next nanny needs to know, and they need to know that you've already had two nannies quit because they didn't know how to manage the behavior.  I promise, there are plenty of nannies out there that can re-introduce you to the wonderful child you know, sans tantrums.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics