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[quote=Anonymous]...clean up kids messes made before she arrives in the morning? My current schedule with my NF is 7am to 5pm M-W-Th and 9am to 5pm T and F. On the days I arrive at 9am in particular, (and also now on Monday mornings, left from Sunday night) the house has been more and more of a mess. I understand that MB and DB enjoy those mornings playing with their kids before work, and at first when it was just on occasion, or a small mess, I was fine cleaning it up myself during nap time. But it has been happening more and more often, and now instead of just a small mess in one room I often enter the house to find multiple large messes in several rooms.

The kids are 2 and 3.5 years old, and are not the best picker uppers. But that is why I always stress cleaning up one mess before we get new toys out when I play with them (they might fight it at first but will choose to clean up after a minute or two of pouting). But when there is a big huge mess (like what I'm seeing more and more of when I come in) they act like it's the end of the world and will fall on the floor and say things like "it's too big, I can't do it!!" Etc which really makes the whole morning a drag, and sucks because the first interaction I have with them is negative (I need you to clean up some of this mess now before we can play more), so the last thing MB and DB see before heading to work is me struggling with fussing/upset kids (who had been happily playing right up until I walked into the house). I've tried to avoid that situation by just letting them continue to play as MB and DB leave, but they're always playing with MB and or DB so when they get up to leave the kids lose interest in whatever they were doing and want to play something else instead. And, as I said, I'm often left with Sunday nights messes when I arrive early on Mondays, too.

I know I've seen people on here say things like nanny should clean up after the kids, but nanny should not have to clean dirty dishes left from meals eaten before she arrived, etc. I guess I'm wondering what the consensus is on nanny cleaning up messes made by the kids before she arrives?

There is a big mess right now in the living room and the art area that was here when I arrived. I tried to get the girls to clean up earlier but they made a big scene, as usual, and I felt like they were being extra moody because they were hungry and needed to get out energy, so we had a quick snack and went to the park. When we returned, they wanted lunch, and when I mentioned the mess once more after lunch, the younger one started crying and the older one said "I'm so so so tired! I need my nap!" So I just let them nap without fighting them over it. Once they went down to nap I ate my lunch, did all the dishes, cleaned up after the park (put away park toys in the garage, cleaned off muddy shoes,, etc), and folded their clean laundry. I took one more look at the mess...I thought maybe I could get the girls to clean up after nap, but waking up is often difficult for them, and they will just want to sit and read books and have a snack, and I'll need them both to sit on the potty, and MB will be home shortly after they wake up anyway (I'm in CA so it's only 3pm here now).

I don't think I can say anything to MB and DB about not leaving a big mess for me...I just can't see that going over well. Is it enough of a statement if I just leave the mess for them to deal with? I know it's passive aggressive but I just don't feel comfortable bringing it up with them...and I'm starting to really get frustrated that they're leaving big messes for me to deal with so often. They have to understand that it isn't fair and it frustrates me... I've worked with other families in the past who took advantage of me, and I've never felt that from this family at all...I just worry that they will be taken aback if I bring it up? Or would they be more taken aback if I chose not to clean up the big mess they left this time? Help please...[/quote]

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