Reply to Possible to find a nanny that matches our style?

Forum Index » General Discussion

Reply to "Possible to find a nanny that matches our style?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]MB here.  Yes, you can find a nanny whose style you like, or who is willing to work within the parenting approach you prefer.  The important thing is to think very carefully about exactly what you want and mean when you articulate your approach.  So much is subjective.  The more clear you are, the more specific you are, and the more thinking you have done about what are your absolutes, your preferreds, and your less important issues the better positioned you will be to interview, hire, and manage a nanny successfully.

Also, 10:16 is right in cautioning you that you cannot find a replica of yourself.  No one will be perfect (including your husband, your mother, your best friend, yourself, etc...) So you need to accept imperfection before you choose anyone, and go from there.

If you interview based on these kinds of things it will probably weed out people who think you're too picky - and that's ok.  You only need one person whose basic philosophy is inline with yours for it to be a good fit.  You'll want a pretty experienced, self-aware nanny who is really listening to you in the interview, and whose responses indicate that she genuinely agrees with you - not that she's just saying what she needs to say to get the job.

You probably also must require true fluency in English in order to communicate nuanced parenting/supervision approaches effectively.

You should also be prepared to pay at the higher end of the norm for this level of selection and specificity.

Once you've selected a nanny I would also suggest putting some of these basic parameters in the the contract as well as a household manual kind of document.  We have language in our contract specifically prohibiting physical discipline and requiring that the nanny supervise and manage our kids in the way we outline.  And we have a section in our household manual on positive parenting - what that means to us, what we prefer, suggestions on how to manage tantrums in public places, etc...

We also tried hard not to be too pedantic about that.  Our current nanny doesn't do everything exactly the way I want.  But she never loses her temper, she is never physical, and she has a consistently positive approach with our kids.  Her general temperament seemed in line with what we wanted when we interviewed her, and we carefully talked w/ her references to make sure the positivity and calm we saw was genuine and part of her nature.

Lastly, once you have done all of this, get out of the nanny's way.  Trust that you did your job in hiring well, remind yourself regularly that no one will be perfect, focus on whether your absolute non-negotiables (safety, honesty, reliability, etc...) are being met, and then get out of her way.

Good luck![/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics