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[quote=Anonymous]Ok, so I just quit a trial period.

The family sounded great, job sounded good, pay was decent, live-in position, so I thought that it was worth a try.

Over the course of the last week there have been numerous issues.  DC2 is set up to be the golden child, gets whatever she wants, supposedly reads on the bus for her homework but refuses to discuss what she's read, neurotypical with no diagnosed issues; DC2 felt that she should be able to tell me when and where she is going if she wants to and dictate when we return home.  DC1 is constantly watched for bad behavior, has been put on a diet, deals with ADD and dyslexia, fights doing reading or homework; DC1 made sure that I knew where he was, he struggled through the schoolwork, he dealt with a skin issue this week.  DC1 also opened the van door and threatened to jump into traffic, refused to leave a function and threatened to yell and scream that I was kidnapping him and was begging for money at the function.  Additionally, DC1 is prepubescent, yet is exhibiting sexual behavior far outside of the norm (facial gestures, tone of voice, innuendo, referencing situations that he should not be discussing, inappropriate touching to adult females including the nanny, etc) and I was very uncomfortable in the situation.  I woke up two days in a row to DC1 sitting on cushions next to my bed and staring at me, once licking his lips, once playing with a curl that had dropped over the side of the bed.  I'm creeped out and I didn't feel I could stay any longer.  My room did not have a latching door (let alone a lock), the bathrooms on the main level don't lock, DB came into the room I was sleeping after I was in bed to lecture me.  There were numerous other issues, some minor (DB kept giving me more tasks than I could do during a day without prioritizing which were most important to him, no contact information for anyone, no names of schools/knowledge of where the kids needed to be) and some major (DB has boundary issues: wanted me to make his bed, put away his laundry, make his lunch while children were at school, etc).

On Saturday morning, DB tried to guilt trip me into staying additional days so that he wouldn't have a gap in coverage.  I responded that he had asked me to give him 24-48 hours to reconsider when I talked to him on Thursday afternoon; I left Saturday after letting him know Friday after 8pm that I would not be staying.

My issue is that he knew about the sexual behavior and didn't warn me at all.  He told me about the ADD and dyslexia, and I took the position knowing that it would take time to show DC1 that he is capable and build his confidence.  I have experience with IEP reviews, so I was helping DB draw up a list of issues/questions.  I was also doing personal assistant, family assistant and household manager duties, yet I was being paid solely as a nanny.

Given that DB purposefully withheld information, I shudder to think how many nannies he's allowed to be blindsided.  I don't understand why a parent wouldn't be completely upfront with a candidate during a final interview or at least give the full information on the start date.  Have any other nannies had major information withheld?  Have any families withheld information, and can you give me some insight into why you would do so?[/quote]

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