Reply to Other toddler in share is a bit of a bully

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I've been in your shoes, and I was understanding an accommodating until it reached the point of the other child physically harming mine, and leaving visible bruises & scratches, almost daily. It was my first, so I wasn't sure what was normal and if you read DCUM all day long, you'll think that this totally normal behavior and there's nothing you can do about it.

But then one afternoon I got to see how the father reacted to his daughter hitting mine at pick up - he gave her a hug and while caressing her arm, and told her we should be gentle with our friends. The mother also told me in passing that they don't believe in time outs. Well, with that kind of reward structure, of course the girl wasn't making any progress and was becoming more & more violent as she was aging out of when this could be considered age-appropriate behavior.

So, my lessons learned in all of that are: it's a handful of incidents that peak over the span of a couple weeks = normal, give it time. If the nanny is separating the kids, showering attention on the injured, and giving a time out or some other disincentive to the harmer, AND the parents of the aggressor are on board, re-affirming the message that violence is unacceptable, then you've got yourself a winning situation and as long as the child doesn't have some sort of developmental issues, you can expect the behavior to pass quickly. Conversely, if no one is willing to tell this child no out of fear that it will squash their light, then your child is going to be sacrificial lamb and you get need to get her out of that situation because it will not get better. It only gets worse as the child gets stronger and understands that she can get away with it.

Good luck to you![/quote]

OP here - thanks much, this is very helpful. Other posters are right that I shouldn't have used the word bully (I realize now it is a loaded word), but just trying to figure out how to handle this situation. [/quote]

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