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[quote=Anonymous]I think most bad bosses, whether they're managing a nanny or an entire office of staff, don't spend much time thinking about how to manage. They have a task in front of them and think about how to get it done. They don't take the time to think through what it's like to be on the receiving end of their requests/orders and whether it will be a fulfilling portfolio overall for the other person.

Managing people doesn't come naturally to most. It requires thought, effort, time, and mental bandwidth. A lot of people employing nannies have very busy work schedules, a full family life, and don't dedicate much, if any, of their remaining mental bandwidth to thinking about whether they're being a good boss to their nanny. In fact, people hire a nanny so that they have less to think about - they come home and so many things are already taken care of, vs coming home from daycare and needing to read the forms from the day, unpack the bags, then re-pack them for the next day, write any notes to the staff for the next day.

It's sad, but very human. I'm an employer and I do spend a lot of time thinking about what would make for an enjoyable nanny experience. I read a lot of threads here and get a sense of the common annoyances and try to avoid imposing those on my nanny. I reflect on what my favorite nanny growing up didn't like about working for my parents. I do some market research and try to make sure what I'm offering is on par with what other families are offering, to the extent that we can afford to. I say thank you. When I have requests for something to be done differently, I start with thanking her for all that I do appreciate, and I close with saying how happy with are with her, so that it's clear this is just one small tweak we're requesting, not an end-all be-all issue that defines our relationship with her.

It's not perfect, I know, but I try to not suck. [/quote]

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