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[quote=Anonymous]Very longtime HM here (on year nine of hosting).  We have learned that having a boyfriend/girlfriend isn't an impediment to a great year, so we do not screen out candidates with a signif other.  We are fairly along in matching (through almost a dozen emails, not yet on skype) with a great candidate for arrival next summer.  She has the experience we look for, has the drive, has the athletic interest and energy, etc. She told me in her first email (and wrote on her application) that she has a boyfriend and asked how we felt, and I considered this a mature "address the situation head-on" from her.  I asked her several questions about how they had talked about the program, how much he supported her, whether he had attended any info sessions, etc., and all the answers were good: he really believes she needs this for her career, he fully supports her, etc.  BUT then last night she shared a little more: Not only is he her boyfriend who supports her while she going to school, but it turns out they actually live together AND he owns the dance studio where she works.  So really, this young woman is completely tied up with this guy, not just "dating" him. I'm now having serious pause about her, because now that I take a second (third) look at her application, I don't see pictures of friends with her - just her and her family and her and her children she teaches.  She doesn't mention friends in her essay.  Is she someone who is just totally wrapped up in the boyfriend - and HE wants her to go abroad to learn better English?  Or is this something SHE really wants to do?  I can't tell.

I sent her a bunch of questions about how she socializes, who her friends are (are they from univ or only couple friends), and how much time she and boyfriend actually spend apart in any given day and week, but I'm wondering if this is just not a situation to even start trying to figure out.

I'd love some feedback from wise and experienced HMs.  Is this something you would run from or try to sort through?  ANd if the latter, what other questions can I ask to start to suss this all out?  If it matters, she is 22 and from Germany, two years through a teacher training program in English and German, hence the need to perfect her already fluent English.  She is also a dancer -- and as an athlete but non-dancer myself, i have all sorts of judgments and assumptions about dancers that I am sure are lurking even though I am trying to keep them at bay.

THank you.  [/quote]

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